That Moment

That moment you know there has a been a shifting in the universe, and life will never be the same.  It is neither good, or bad, it just is.

It’s just a moment and you think, “I know longer fall into a category I always took for granted.”  New Mom. Young Adult.  Girl.

That moment when the doctor tells you, you need an extra pair of glasses, or will some day need a hip replaced.

That moment you no longer know, nor care to know, who is singing that  God- awful song on the radio.

That moment when you look at the people in your house and you think, “who are these people?”  Their voices are lower, their bodies are bigger, their doors are closed, their eyes roll, they wear make-up, they know everything.  You are wrong before you speak and when you speak, you are doubly wrong.  YOU ARE CLUELESS.   And in a way you are. Because keeping up with I-phones, u-tube, I-tunes, snap chat, Instagram, texting, Twitter, web grades, and God knows what else,  is exhausting, and so very annoying.

That moment when you read a quote like this from Joanne Felder, and think, “Is this my new reality? Is this what I have to look forward to?!”

You will need to stay calm as you witness the candy floss in your daughter’s smile harden into brittle bitchiness. You will need to muster a new resolve as your son’s fascination with Pokémon shifts to porn. You will have to recalibrate your mothering instinct to accommodate the notion that not only do your children poop and burp, they also masturbate, drink and smoke. As their bodies, brains and worlds rearrange themselves, you will need to do your own reshuffling. You will come to see that, though you gave them life, they’re the ones who’ve got a life. They’ve got 1700 friends on Facebook. They’ve got YouTube accounts (with hundreds of sub- scribers), endless social arrangements, concerts, Valentine’s Day dances and Halloween parties. What we have – if we’re lucky – is a ‘Thanks for the ride, Mum, don’t call me, I’ll call you,’ as they slam the car door and indicate we can run along now.” 

That moment when you look at yourself in the mirror and think, “Good Lord. What happened?”   You start pulling your eyelids up and back, considering a tuck here, or a tuck there, but then you let you let it fall back and scold yourself for being so shallow.

That moment when you go to the store and buy a bottle of wine and the teller who is 20 years younger than you doesn’t card you, and  you curse the lad on the way out the door.

That moment you get your college newsletter and you recognize none of the names of the faculty  because they have all retired or past on.

It’s just a moment. It’s not good or bad. It just is.  You have crossed a threshold and you are now on the other side of where you once were.

There is really no reason to grieve or lament, or get angry.  There is a resigned acceptance to it.

There is no denying that things have changed and a reshuffling is required. So get to it.

I wonder in your reshuffling, will you think about the same things on this side of the threshold as you did on the other side?  Will you learn from your failures and keep your prejudices?  What will you carry with you and what will you let go of, on this side of the threshold?   Will you care less about what people think? Will you become more set in your ways?  Will you resist new inventions?  Will you scoff at progress?  Will you be kinder to those younger than you, or will you patronize them and act as though you know more than they do?  Will you love in a different way?  Will you speak your mind more freely? Will you worry less?  Will you pray more?

The moment that one reality ends, a new reality begins is neither good, nor bad. It just is.

It’s life.

Accept what is. Embrace the good. Keep it in perspective. And remember, there will always be another moment.

And remember that those other people in your house are having moments too.  Remember the moment you realized you were no longer a child, but a full-bodied teenager?  That was one crazy moment. So give them some grace, and let them have their moment.

 

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