She’s an introverted, thoughtful, artsy, quiet, distracted kid who is desperate for a friend.
God, this has GOT to get better. What if she starts some behavior that isn’t healthy? It should be in “The 10 Steps of Moving:” Number 8, get licence. Number 9, get therapist. Number 10, give yourself time.
Tonight she told me a story about something that happened today in math class:
“Some stupid boy was acting so stupid. I told him to cut it out and do his job. And then this other stupid kid at our table said, “no wonder she doesn’t have any friends!”
Did you know that I have a strong right hook?
She’s on this really competitive swim team and she is not awesome. Yet swimming is her identity and she desperately wants to be included. To be part of the team. She said, “I wore my team shirt today, but nobody seemed to notice.”
“I just can’t figure out how to make a friend. What’s wrong with me?!”
My guilt in all of this is palpable. I am the reason for her unhappiness, right? Somehow, I have the power to fix this, right? Surely there is something. Homeschool? No. Private school? No. Time? Maybe. But what if she doesn’t get better? What if she is miserable and becomes the next Emily Dickenson, or worse?!
Preschool was so much easier! Third grade was a snap. This feels monumentous.
So, Dear Lord, have mercy.
I pray for the lonely child upstairs, tucked in bed after battling a day of cafeteria food and stupid boys. I pray for the quiet child who wants to be heard and recognized. I pray for the friendless child, who would be somebody’s friend if they would get out of their pre adolescent head long enough to notice. I pray for the dreaming child who wants to create and play and has no interest in formulas and fractions. I pray for the parents who say, “now go have a great day!” And then cries in the parking lot as their little girl goes to face another day. Lord, in your mercy….
Hear my prayer.